Today started off lousy. Real lousy. I was late getting dressed, late getting breakfast, and late getting in the groove for pretty much everything. In turn, the kids were late in getting the message-- that mommy was not prepared for antics of any kind. My patience was suffering and everyone else was too as a result.
L's school time was behind schedule which made me agitated because I hate when I'm not on the ball with that. S was acting up and not wanting to do ANYTHING constructive. Add to that a pile of laundry glaring at me while the dishes yelled my name. Ay carumba, my blood pressure was rising by the second.
Needless to say, at about the 11th hour (literally 11:00am) I could feel myself getting ready to toss in the towel for the whole day..... and then I remembered it. The do-over. I could do it all over. Namely, my attitude and outlook. I could choose to stop the madness. Relax, Michelle. Start your day over. Breathe. Pray. Breathe again. Now apologize to your kids.
I promptly told L we were taking a break to chill out before lunch. She looked relieved. Then, when we were done eating, we had school. And read a story. And made tee-pees while S played with playdough (for over an hour).
And it was so much better this time around.
The beauty of the do-over.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Divide and Conquer
One thing I've really been working on with the kids is gratefulness. Whining is a big no-no in our house. As is begging. They know mommy simply won't listen to it. If you wanna be heard, you better bring your voice down an octave or two, kid. And if you wanna throw a fit, I'm not just going to ignore you where you are. You have to go in your room (or, more often for Mr. Tantrum, be PUT there) and do that without an audience. If you try to come back out to perform, you'll simply be put back in. And honestly, after a couple times of that, it's squelched your whole goal. Irritating and time-consuming for mommy? Yes. Effective? Yes.
Lately, we've upped our chores around the house. L (5) always cleared the table of her plate, made her bed daily, and set the table on occasion, but now, since starting kindergarten, it's all more on a regular basis. She takes all her laundry back to her room and puts it away in the proper place. She helps me fold all the towels and blankets for the whole family. In addition, she dusts the living room now, and is in charge of straightening it for our small group Bible study that we host bi-weekly. She also washes the windows in the front rooms. Those are her regulars.
S (2 1/2 yrs) is responsible for clearing his plate and putting it in the sink since (yay!) he can reach it now! He also takes all his folded laundry back to his room for me and sets it by his dresser. (The boy tries to fold, he really does bless his heart, but it just isn't quite happening yet.) He's also an awesome shoe straightener, so our front room shoe rack always looks neat and orderly these days!
For now, N (9 mo.) is off the hook. :)
Tim and I went back and forth on whether we should pay L an allowance for the work she does. For now, we decided that we won't pay her. Our reasoning is simply based on the fact that we want her learn that, in this family, we all pull our weight and share the burden. Her working needs to be out of a heart of gratefulness and love for the family. Will we possibly give her an allowance in the future? Most likely yes. But for now, we want her (and S) to work simply because they need to contribute their part. I understand fully the logic of an allowance to teach proper money management. And we will get there. But for our children, and for our family, we felt the need to first instill the lesson of working just for the sake of accomplishing a task well.
All this to say, I've found that part of teaching my kids gratefulness is being loving myself--and that includes overlooking the "kid-like" way some chores are done. That stack of clothes S took to his room doesn't need to be straight. His hands can't quite manage that yet. And L's bed doesn't need to look perfect --that's not the point (after all, she is going to sleep in it again in a few hours). The point is to cultivate good stewardship and teach them to do their best, at whatever level that may be, and to do it cheerfully.
In teaching them, the Lord's teaching me.
Lately, we've upped our chores around the house. L (5) always cleared the table of her plate, made her bed daily, and set the table on occasion, but now, since starting kindergarten, it's all more on a regular basis. She takes all her laundry back to her room and puts it away in the proper place. She helps me fold all the towels and blankets for the whole family. In addition, she dusts the living room now, and is in charge of straightening it for our small group Bible study that we host bi-weekly. She also washes the windows in the front rooms. Those are her regulars.
S (2 1/2 yrs) is responsible for clearing his plate and putting it in the sink since (yay!) he can reach it now! He also takes all his folded laundry back to his room for me and sets it by his dresser. (The boy tries to fold, he really does bless his heart, but it just isn't quite happening yet.) He's also an awesome shoe straightener, so our front room shoe rack always looks neat and orderly these days!
For now, N (9 mo.) is off the hook. :)
Tim and I went back and forth on whether we should pay L an allowance for the work she does. For now, we decided that we won't pay her. Our reasoning is simply based on the fact that we want her learn that, in this family, we all pull our weight and share the burden. Her working needs to be out of a heart of gratefulness and love for the family. Will we possibly give her an allowance in the future? Most likely yes. But for now, we want her (and S) to work simply because they need to contribute their part. I understand fully the logic of an allowance to teach proper money management. And we will get there. But for our children, and for our family, we felt the need to first instill the lesson of working just for the sake of accomplishing a task well.
All this to say, I've found that part of teaching my kids gratefulness is being loving myself--and that includes overlooking the "kid-like" way some chores are done. That stack of clothes S took to his room doesn't need to be straight. His hands can't quite manage that yet. And L's bed doesn't need to look perfect --that's not the point (after all, she is going to sleep in it again in a few hours). The point is to cultivate good stewardship and teach them to do their best, at whatever level that may be, and to do it cheerfully.
In teaching them, the Lord's teaching me.
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